I am a Presbyterian minister and I can relate to what you’re saying. My wife (who is also a Presbyterian minister!) and I have a friend who almost has a panic attack when she steps into a church. She has horror stories of her experiences with church.

Regarding the whole business of not asking questions, I actually find it insulting if people do not. I try to make it clear that God (and I understand if God-talk puts you off — I sometimes ask people to express themselves without God-talk to show they really understand) has given us the ability to think. (Side note: I also believe that we have evolved over millions and billions of years in order for that to be true.)

There is definitely a spirit, so to speak, that inhabits places of worship. That’s true for every faith and belief. One hopes it’s a spirit of affirmation, joy, and blessing. Sadly, there can also be one of rejection, darkness, and curses.

Peace to you on your journey, Jessica!