just like size 15s
keep going until it fits
I wear size 15 shoes. Moving from size 12, to size 13, to size 14, it has become increasingly different to find a roomy place for my tootsies. It would make sense to call that a sorry situation. Still, maybe it’s a case of a glass half-empty or half-full.
What has happened is I’ve had to discard many choices to get to the right pair of shoes. My options have been limited — which has usually worked out well!
(I’ll return to this business of searching for footwear in a moment.)
Last November, when my wife Banu and I embarked from New York on what I called at the time “a holy adventure” to pursue the next chapter of our ministry, we had little awareness of what lay ahead. Regrettably, that included my mom’s suffering a stroke on New Year’s Day. She declined in health until she died in the wee hours of Sunday morning, February 18. That set in motion numerous realities, including some life lessons for us.
Meanwhile, the path of “holy adventure” has led us through spiritual discernment, discovery of our course of ministry, as well as being twice bitten by my dog.
These encounters have directed us to a possible return to Tennessee. (Well, the dog biting encounter had a less significant role! Although, Ronan’s disposition might improve.) I will confess to suggesting to various people that I think I could be in the wrong state, since I am hardly fond of hot weather. Not that a Tennessee summer offers much relief from heat!
One life lesson we have learned, or re-learned, is the wisdom expressed in Proverbs 16. “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps” (v. 9). Or as the King James puts it, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.”
Devising and directing. We can make our good faith plans, but ultimately the Lord guides the process. And as noted, we had scarce awareness of coming experiences. Who could know we would be present for Mom’s final days? And even though things haven’t quite worked out as we envisioned for Pensacola, my birth mother and I have connected in meaningful ways — including watching Casablanca! (“We’ll always have Paris.”)
I’m sure we all have made serendipitous (and sadly, less than serendipitous) discoveries. I imagine we all are familiar with the idea of God opening doors and closing doors.
And yes, that includes finding the right size shoe to wear. There are dead ends to face until, hallelujah, the anointed ones are revealed!
So many times, what has seemed to be disfavor — and we have lamented that it was — has turned out to be favor, and great favor at that.
The apostle Paul comments in Philippians 4: “I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need” (v. 12). I’m not sure I would claim to have learned “the secret” of which he speaks. So much of life happens beyond our control.
He follows the thought in the next verse. “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” That’s one of the scriptures often removed from its context, appearing on all manner of knick-knacks and inspirational posters.
Through being strengthened. When plans fail, can we trust that another plan is silently at work? Or maybe it’s right in our face. We can fight and hate and give up. That is a popular option! Or can we learn from the apostle’s “secret,” and gain strength?
The journey continues, through outer geography and inner geography.
