the journey continues, north(ish)
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disfavor is favor
Last November, when Banu and I embarked from New York on what I called at the time “a holy adventure” to pursue the next chapter of our ministry, we had little awareness of what lay ahead.
Very briefly, leaving out many details: scrambling to find a place in Tennessee for our possessions, an adventure with a malfunctioning refrigerator, a trip to Pensacola, Florida (again, scrambling to find a place for our possessions), staying with my birth mother and her husband, an unsuccessful search for property of our own, and miscellaneous other activities, such as becoming familiar with Pensacola.
Nevertheless, all of these events pale in comparison with my mom’s fate. Having suffered a stroke on New Year’s Day, she declined in health until she died in the wee hours of Sunday morning, February 18. That set in motion numerous realities, including some life lessons.
Meanwhile, the path of “holy adventure” has led us through spiritual discernment, discovery of our course of ministry, and oh yes, being twice bitten by my dog.
These encounters have directed us to return to Tennessee. (Well, the dog biting encounter had a less significant role! Although, Ronan’s disposition might improve.) I will confess to suggesting to various people that I think I could be in the wrong state, since I am hardly fond of hot weather. So we will be heading north(ish) — that is, not all the way back to New York.
One life lesson we have learned, or re-learned, is the wisdom expressed in Proverbs 16. “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps” (v. 9). Or as the King James puts it, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.”
Devising and directing. We can make our good faith plans, but ultimately the Lord guides the process. And as noted, we had scarce awareness of coming experiences. Who could know we would be present for Mom’s final days? And even though things haven’t worked out as we envisioned for Pensacola, my birth mother and I have connected in meaningful ways — including watching Casablanca! (“We’ll always have Paris.”)
I’m sure we all have made serendipitous (and sadly, less than serendipitous) discoveries. I imagine we all are familiar with the idea of God opening doors and closing doors.
On two different occasions, we have been on a committed hunt to purchase some land. In these past few weeks, nothing has surfaced which met our particular needs. Over two decades ago, we had our eye on a certain house, but financial restraints caused the deal to collapse. (By the way, throughout our pastoral ministry, our residences have been provided by the congregation. Thus, the need for our own property never seemed terribly urgent.)
Still, during the attempt to buy the house, there was a still small voice at work. I kept hearing a “no.” Neither one of us was really enthusiastic about the venture. In retrospect we have repeatedly thanked God for blocking our efforts. We would have been trapped in a terrible situation.
So many times, we are saved from ourselves.
And so many times, what has seemed to be disfavor — and we have lamented that it was — has turned out to be favor, and great favor at that.
The apostle Paul comments in Philippians 4: “I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need” (v. 12). I’m not sure I would claim to have learned “the secret” of which he speaks. In fact, I know I haven’t! Fortunately, so much of life happens beyond our control.
He follows the thought in the next verse. “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” That’s one of the scriptures often removed from its context, appearing on all manner of knick-knacks and inspirational posters!
Through being strengthened. When plans fail, can we trust that another plan is silently at work? Or maybe it’s right in our face. We can fight and hate and give up. That is a popular option! Or can we learn from the apostle’s “secret,” and gain strength?
The journey continues, through outer geography and inner geography.
